Ramifications of the bankruptcy filing by Hostess brands:
1. No more “Twinkie defense”.
2. I will personally suffer a Ding Dong deficiency.
3. With the loss of Wonder Bread, we’ll have to switch to sandwich bread that only helps build strong bodies eleven ways.
4. Dolly Madison will lose her day job.
5. Henceforth “ho-ho” will be heard only during the holidays.
6. The mystery of the white stuff may finally be resolved.
7. Hoarders will stock up on Twinkies that will never go bad!
8. The balance of power between healthful foods and snack foods will be terribly upset.
9. The value of white stuff injectors will tank.
10. Zingers will no longer be offered in fashionable homes.
11. I know where you can pick up a few really big ovens, really cheap!
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