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Friday, March 30, 2012

My bus stop

The place where I stand waiting for the bus every weekday morning was designed to be a relatively pleasant and safe little nook. Besides the bus stop sign, it sports a nice concrete pad where one can stand out of the street puddles and away from traffic. And there’s a nice steel cloth bench, coated in that plastic stuff that prevents rust and makes a trouser snag unlikely.

I don’t mind waiting there. Early morning traffic notwithstanding, it’s actually sort of a peaceful place to gather my morning awareness. There are lots of birds testing their lungs and wings. The same elderly lady cane-clomps her way past me and we wish each other good morning after the 241 goes by but before the 210 shows up. The 210 is my ride and if it came earlier, I’d never have struck up this nameless friendship. Of course, one has to wonder what other potential morning friends I miss because they walk by after the 210 moves on with me aboard.
There are several wads of gum stuck to the signpost in one big clump right at eye level so I can’t avoid seeing it as I watch for my coach to crest the first rise below me. It’s annoying to see it every morning but for months of days I’ve forgotten to bring something with me to just scrape it off. And of course, now I’ve grown accustomed to it.
Behind me as I stand waiting and watching is a high hedge and someone’s side yard. Across the street lives the Asian family whose patterns of chauffeuring their son and daughter are timed to the minute. I wish I could grow grass like that. And the sister and brother who pass by on the way to their own bus stop down the street about four minutes before my bus arrives. Sometimes they walk with a third friend, sometimes not. I’ve come to know them and I always watch to see which one is excited to get to school today, which not so much, when they’re quarreling and when they’re sharing confidences. They pull at my heart in a sort of Geisel-esque  oh, the places you’ll go sort of way.
The other night, someone used my bus stop for an unintended purpose, if the torn wrapper and obviously expended condom are to be believed. It had rained pretty much constantly so I have to wonder just how desperate someone was.
They’ve sullied my bus stop. Some folks just have no class at all.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

List relating to bus rides

Things you really don’t want to hear come out of the mouth of the gorgeous twenty-something girl in the seat behind you:
1.       “You look so-o-o much like my grandfather!
2.       That is all.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Neighbors

We’ve always tried to be good neighbors. And by and large, we’ve had good luck with the folks fate has  plopped us down next to. 

We rented our first house. It was your standard 3-and-2 Fresno ranch with a nice but badly deteriorated, fenced back yard. We planned to have our wedding reception there and made a deal with the owner’s rep that we’d pay for anything we needed to fix the place up and he’d let us have our way with what we did. Worked out just fine. And the neighbors on each side were friendly but unobtrusive, perfect for a young couple wanting to feel secure but unexamined in their first house.
Our second abode together was our first purchase. It was in a brand new development and we had a lively set of neighbors gradually settle in around us. The elderly folks to one side were sweet and caring and taught us a lot about putting in a yard. On the other side was the ultimate Mutt and Jeff couple. She was short and plump and constantly talking a mile a minute and oh, yes…nonsensically. Easily the sweetest and dumbest person you could ever ask to meet. Her hubby was tall, lanky and spoke in an accent we struggled to penetrate. He was brilliant but possessed not an ounce of descernible sense. The two of them were always coming up with grand ideas that Mary and I would chuckle about in bed at night.
Across the street was a couple who had a young daughter about One’s age and we would share babysitting duties and play dates . She was a nurse and he was an architect. A lovely couple from whom we received Christmas cards until recently.

And next to them was Crazy George. No, not the professional cheerleader guy. This gentleman was named George and happened to be a few bananas short of a bunch. He was maybe the most obsessive-compulsive guy I’ve ever met (and keep in mind, I work as an advocate for people living with differences, so that’s saying something). He used to sweep and then water the dirt in front of their house before the lawn was put in and washed their car by hand about three times each week. He would come across the street to congratulate Mary and me as we worked on putting in our yard the old fashioned way. Told me he was proud of me, as though I did the work not out of necessity but rather to earn his approval. He’d stand there in his house slippers and walking shorts, a stogie clamped between two fingers. I don’t believe it ever occurred to him not to wave his noxious cigar around a woman who was fabulously pregnant.
Since we’ve moved to this house, we’ve had a string of neighbors, both good and not so good. Fortunately, the latter variety tends to move in and out fairly regularly while the salt-of-the-earthers stay longer term. So, we’ve had our share of folks revving up the Harley late at night and hosting underage drinking parties but for the most part, our neighbors have contributed positively to the richness of our lives. Susan and Bjorn are basically family. They helped raise One and Two and we’ve shared good times and bad. Mary is her shopping partner and he taught me to install kitchen cabinets. Next to them is an elderly German couple of heavy accents and sharp eyes. They watch the neighborhood carefully: when Mary’s old van had a short in the wiring, Bruno would call at 11:00pm to let us know the brake lights were once again draining the battery.  It became a regular thing – the phone would ring at the appointed time and one of us would grab the keys and head outside while the other picked up the phone to thank Bruno for the heads up.
Down on the corner, Jim was a wonderful Japanese guy who rode his bike to work well into his sixties but lost his will and gumption after his wife passed. He eventually passed on as well, but not before serving for years as the girls’ go to guy for buying their Girl Scout cookies or dispensing Halloween treats.
Martin and Emily were a wonderful pair – he a Lithuanian and she a Filipina and once you sorted out the accents, just the nicest couple you’d ever want to meet. Their dog, Bobick was the neighborhood’s friendly terror until they moved out of the immediate area. They still come back for things like graduation parties.
The Bobergs around the other side of the block shared kid raising adventures. When the power was out for days after the big snowstorm, Becky brought her sickly mother-in-law to sit in front of our fire while she (Becky) distracted the kids with group dancing lessons. Mark and I frequently share the same bus to and from work. We also share a propensity for using ear buds and iPods to shut out the random conversations and road noise. And their kids sit with our house and dogs when we’re both out of town.
No special reason for sharing all this with you. Except that most of you are old friends and when we’re together, the conversation seldom gets around to just everyday life. Too busy catching up on the big things, I suppose. Mary and I are both home feeling poorly from the colds that never seem to quite go away and sitting here in the ratty old writing chair, I just got to cogitating on the fact that not all family is flesh and blood.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Some things you don’t forgive

A front page article in USA Today this morning focused on sexual predators who’ve continued to be incarcerated after completing their original judicially-imposed sentences. There seems to be a great deal of controversy concerning the right to due process, etc., but the Supremes have come out in support of extended stay programs for persons considered “sexually dangerous.” The Supremes blew this one -  we should never be holding someone in prison absent imposition of a specific legal sentence.

Before you go off on me, I am NOT advocating for the release of these deviants. Anyone convicted of a sex crime against a child should never again see the light of day. I don’t care if they claim conversion or cure, whether a wart-covered monster or “doe-eyed” Mary Kay leTourneau. 
But we shouldn’t resort to such measures to accomplish the end of sequestering these miscreants. The answer is never to bend our own laws. The answer is to change the laws to reflect the need to protect society – and particularly, the most vulnerable members of our society – from those who would do them harm.  
Those who prey on children tend to become expert at manipulation and it is a sad fact that many, probably most sex crimes against children are never reported. Once reported, they can be particularly difficult to successfully prosecute.
I believe in the protections provided by the constitution. We shouldn’t be messing around with those protections to fill a gap in our criminal laws. It’s time to treat sex crimes against children as what they are – the worst possible depravity, deserving of life sentences.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Song for upper respiratory distress

(To the tune of that song that’s going through my head right now, but I can’t remember the title)

Oh, Mary and I are both sick as can be,
Yes, oh so sickly, that's Mary and me.
We snort and we sniff,
Still, we can't take a whiff.
We just lay on the couch and sow down hot tea.


Tra-la-la-laaaaaa,  Lah-de-dah-de-da-daaaah!

(Slow way down)
Oh, I've already had two colds this year,
But I'm still one behind my Mary, my dear.
Make the TV pause,
Gotta go blow my schnozz.
And besides, there's dialogue we'll both want to hear.
Tra-la-la-laaaaaa, Lah-de-dah-de-da-daaaah!

(Speed back up)
I'm the champeen at hacking and hewing, I swear
But the pain in my lungs I really can't bear.
I'm hocking up snails
And raw oysters by pails.
And my nostrils are very much worse for the wear.

Tra-la-la-laaaaaa, Lah-de-dah-de-da-daaaah!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Note to missionaries

                                                                                                                
Five quick comments for the  LDS missionaries who terminated my nap by knocking on the front door this afternoon:
1.       I’m closing in on three times your age, so it’s possible I don’t feel you’re fully qualified to give me spiritual advice;
2.       When I say “Go away,” I don’t mean to crack a lame joke. I mean it’s time for you to leave now.
3.       I’ve read Under the Banner of Heaven. I know you’re not all misogynistic murderers but then, I’m not inclined to let you into my house while I sort out into which camp you fall.
4.       Kindly refer to my earlier posts concerning my dislike for being preached at.
5.       Yes, I have a cold. PLEASE do not take that as a sign that I was just not at my best today. When I’m feeling better, you will still be unwelcome.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Slogans

“Honk if you’re against tyranny.”

 Just a slogan written on a piece of cardboard, leaning against a light pole so that it’s visible to all the traffic going past.  No one claiming ownership or sponsorship. Just the sign, all by itself.

I have to say, I’m not entirely sure what to do with that one. Are we talking about tyranny of the masses or tyranny of the minority, the tyranny of tradition or the tyranny of dead ideas?

Do we mean tyranny as in despots enslaving their people? Or perhaps tyranny of the normal?

And even if I understood how the poster artiste meant for us to understand the term, what would it mean if I did honk? Is it the good guys who honk or the jerks? I mean, the writer could be the leader of a tyrant club and just trying to have their enemies self-identify so they would know whom to subjugate when the time comes.

Is this political and if so, is there a particular party or PAC or movement that represents tyranny in the mind of the sign-maker? Or perhaps the writer is an anarchist, so that in his/her mind, all the rest of us are joined in a common tyrannical enterprise.

And if we answer those questions, still I’d be left mired in indecision. Shall I honk once or make a series of toots, a quick beep or a long, brash, dopplered slide on through the intersection? Do I wave after I honk or just stare straight ahead, letting the horn do my talking?

This is going to bother me for awhile. I’d love to join the society of honkers – assuming they’re the good guys – but I just don’t know if it’s right for me.

Crap.

Now, “Honk if you’re indecisive?”  I see that one, I’ll know just what to do.

I think.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Valuing disconnection

It may seem odd in the context of a vanity blog devoted to sharing ideas with friends to highlight the value of disconnection. Bear with me.

I am spending the weekend at my buddy Sherree’s home. Mary is on a cruise with her sister, Daughter One is house-sitting back at the ranch and Daughter Two is on a retreat with her sorority.

As it happens, Sherree is at work and her daughter is hanging with a friend. So I basically have the grounds to myself. The cool thing here is that it’s the home of a dear and trusted friend and so I feel safe and welcome. But this is a friend with whom I’d been largely out of touch for years; therefore, the house itself doesn’t hold much in the way of mnemonics for me.

Bottom line, I feel safe, dry, warm and welcome but entirely outside my normal. I am completely free to observe, think, wonder and conclude without much of the usual pull of everyday stuff.

I was standing out on the patio watching two raptors (I can never be sure whether I’m looking at hawks or peregrines or…) “drawing lazy circles in the sky.” I wondered if I’d witness a stoop as they circled and peered, their bodies  following the air currents while their heads flicked back and forth, studying the ground below for tender morsels.

Sherree’s dogs ran in and out, one or the other occasionally stopping to see if I could be induced to provide a bit of  scratching, but mostly just hanging out, on the prowl for the next compelling doggie distraction.

The windfall tree leaning on the fence provided human distraction for awhile, as did the guy running around the track in the park below with his leashed dog trotting along beside.

And now a few minutes of tapping on the confuser.

I’ve no earthly idea how I will spend the remainder of my afternoon and the absence of plan or promise bothers me not one whit.

Another good day.