Note to missionaries

                                                                                                                
Five quick comments for the  LDS missionaries who terminated my nap by knocking on the front door this afternoon:
1.       I’m closing in on three times your age, so it’s possible I don’t feel you’re fully qualified to give me spiritual advice;
2.       When I say “Go away,” I don’t mean to crack a lame joke. I mean it’s time for you to leave now.
3.       I’ve read Under the Banner of Heaven. I know you’re not all misogynistic murderers but then, I’m not inclined to let you into my house while I sort out into which camp you fall.
4.       Kindly refer to my earlier posts concerning my dislike for being preached at.
5.       Yes, I have a cold. PLEASE do not take that as a sign that I was just not at my best today. When I’m feeling better, you will still be unwelcome.