Bored ducks

I’ve had a long but not an intimate relationship with ducks. I suppose that’s why when I read a passage in which John Irving referred to “bored ducks,” it sort of clicked for me.

Of course, that’s it! They’re bored!

You see, I’ve often wondered at the frame of mind of waterfowl, ducks in particular. I mean, cormorants and gulls for the most part just go their own way, except to see us as a source of cast off food. The one time I spotted an albatross it was far at sea and other than the obvious references to ancient mariners and other lore of the sea, my primary reaction was that, damn - that was a big bird.

Geese, especially the Canadas that frequent our local lakes and beaches, have an agenda and when my activities intersect theirs it’s immediately, manifestly clear whose plan of the day the geese believe should prevail.  As with the gulls, they examine me as a potential source of food and failing that, they become guardedly aloof, ignoring me unless I should happen to approach their turf and they find it necessary to honk and bite and chase until I go safely away. And of course, to put a point on it, they leave their grease where it will inconvenience me should I decide to re-enter their hood.

Ducks are different. Oh sure, they aren’t immune to analysis of me as a possible food source but they go farther. I think they’re a bit curious about me. Or about the girls when they were young and we’d go explore the local duck ponds. They always seemed more interested in the girls than in me. Maybe it was my size or perhaps some silent and invisible duck-girl affinity.

They never stayed with us long. Not like the otters and harbor seals that approached our kayaks and circled so insistently, intent on finding out what we could do for them and whether we could be coaxed to play for a bit.

Ducks approach curiously but then, satisfied we have nothing of interest to offer, move on away in their unceasing search for something to do. Looking back a few times to make sure they haven’t overlooked some minor way in which we might interest them.

That’s it!

They’re bored. Of course!

Ducks don’t care about me or the girls or my paddle partners. They care about something – anything – that will bring something interesting into their lives.

Next time I’m around ducks, I’m going to do my best to be more entertaining. You should, too.