A little quiz

Question: What do the following items have in common?

·         A 3-wheel electric scooter,

·         A training tool for a soccer player,

·         A skate sail, and

·         A butterfly life cycle experiment.

Answer: They can all be found for sale on page 4.
Page 4 of what, you might ask? And well you might.

I have always wondered about the sales magazines you find in the seat back pockets on airplanes. So last trip, I brought one home. Which is of course precisely what the airline marketing people hoped I would do.

I gotta wonder how they choose the things they sell in these airplane magazines. I mean, is there a really big market among people riding airplanes from Salt lake City to Seattle for lighted zip lines, robotic grill cleaners and cameras designed to let you see what’s behind you when rowing or riding? Bug zappers and golf accessories must also be desirable items for this particular high flying demographic.

For the discerning air shopper, these good folks offer computer mice shaped like race cars (eight models), complete sets of award-winning chef’s knives, and a combined paper towel holder / cell phone charger. Talk about utility! They also offer all sorts of furniture sets, baseballs signed by folks I’ve never heard of, security locks for interior doors and anti-slouching harnesses.

I’m looking very closely at the party cups, the fake fire hydrant (seems like a dandy gift for our dogs) and the Bar exam quiz game. The little gondolier who will troll around my pool singing three different Italian songs seems like a swell buy at $59.99 (swimming pool and 4 AA batteries not included).

I buy ALL my topiary plants via mail order from airline magazines. I’ve heard that everyone in the nursery industry has great respect for the quality of topiaries from Delta Airlines.

Oo-oo-oo-ooh! I hadn’t even seen page 39 but now I’m jonesing for an ultimate micro suede furniture protector. Oh, babay! Gotta get me one! And a garden fountain shaped like a peeing little boy from page 51 (to go with my topiary, doncha know). And to round out garden mine, some fake monkeys and lions might be just the thing.

Kansas City steaks, the massage chair and the new bathing suit will have to wait until next order, I fear. I have to get these things into the house on the down low a small pile at a time, lest Mary clue to my airborne shopping habits before my collection is complete.

Nobody tell, okay?

Oh, WAIT!!! The voice activated R2D2 robot for only $199.95!?!?!?! I hope they don’t sell out before my trip to D.C.!

Think she’ll notice?