One and also Two

Daughter One is approaching a crossroads and facing up to it admirably. While she continues as a seasonal Disney performer, she has taken an additional paid role in dinner theatre. She’s just moved into a new living arrangement that promises to be infinitely more stable and home-like than some past accommodations. She has purchased her first car in her own name and is thinking seriously about the road ahead.

My longtime buddy Sindy followed a similar (while entirely different, just trust me that this makes sense) path. I remember visiting her several times while on various leaves from the Navy and I caught brief glimpses of a progression of roommates and gigs. Sindy never seemed to lose sight of her end game even as the end goal shifted in response to changing conditions and new experiences.

Things have worked out well for Sindy and she is one of my most beloved and respected life friends. She could serve (and I believe in many ways she already does) as a role model for One and other young women who are facing both the intersection and the divergence between life plans and life experience.

One is doing well and we will continue to watch her life unfold. And I have learned – admittedly somewhat belatedly – that watching is pretty much all a Dad can do at this point. That’s okay; One’s doing well and she’ll be fine.

Daughter Two is finishing her last finals and will be home Thursday night. For the summer. She has an internship within a few miles of us, so she’ll be staying here.

Any parent understands the great good thing that has fallen from our sky. We get to spend relaxed time with our daughter. No ceremonies to attend, no tourist stuff. We’ll have time to just be together and let the conversation go where it will.

Since Two will be graduating this time next year and we can’t predict where life will take her, this could well be the summer we look back on with fondness and longing. And I intend to make good use of it.

How, you might ask?

Mostly, by just sitting back and noticing. Two has lots of friends to connect with and of course, her internship will be a full time job. She’ll be working on applications and senior thesis and all the other capstone stuff that a rising senior needs to get done.

This is likely our last chance – for awhile, anyway – to recalibrate our knowledge of our daughter, to watch her be her and reset our vision of who she is and might become. And I intend to take full advantage of the opportunity.

Most of what parents do is provide a basis for the child to grow into themselves. Beyond providing food and clothing and giving guidance that may or may not be accepted, our major contribution amounts to acting as a launching pad. And Two is pretty much launched.

All we can and should do at this point is watch and learn and enjoy the time with her. And that’s precisely how I hope to shape my summer.