Life happens

I’ve been worried of late.

Worried about small things. The seemingly glacial progress I’m making on finally finishing the novel. Money. Finishing the house renovation in time to sell it and retire. Losing weight and getting in better shape.

Worried about large things. The mental health and self-image of one I love more than life itself. A dear friend who has been going through an agony of life changes. Seeing this project at work that likely will be the worthwhile capstone of my career as an advocate for persons living with disabilities flourish and grow so it won’t die with my eventual departure.

Seems like worries are always with us. But last night I was reminded that worries – concerns or even dread anticipation – are simply not the same as actual bad things happening.

Last night I went to the airport to pick up a wonderful friend who happens to be blind and so needed a gate-to-home escort. She had been on the other side of the country spending time with her son, whose terminal cancer had entered the end stages. She’d come home for a brief “pay bills and recharge the psyche” visit.

When I met her at the gate she collapsed into me. Even Cajun, her seeing eye dog was clearly wilted by the experience of standing watch over the decline of a loved one. My mission was to get them both to the safety of their own nest for a few days so they could return with renewed vigor to help Bryan face this last enemy who will inevitably take him but can never defeat him.

Lennon was right - life is what happens…

We were in the elevator from baggage claim to the garage level when her cell phone rang. Bryan’s life is done and Susan’s is forever changed. Strangers who could not hear the words nevertheless understood they were witness to a tragedy unfolding. And they moved unbidden to protect Susan, forming a wedge around us as we walked – swear to God, a flying wedge. They held elevators and shooed tour kids out of the way and stood and waited watching without intruding when she broke down and I had to just hold her for a moment in the middle of the airport sky bridge.

The last eighteen hours have been a confusion of calls and texts and emails between Mary and me and Susan and the various people who needed to be informed, included in plans, included or consulted in other ways. Bjorn is heading back from Norway to be with his wife and life’s love. Bryan’s friends and father are making arrangements for a memorial. Mary logged in as me on the airline site to get them booked for the trip back for Bryan’s memorial.

There’s really not much one can do for a mother whose son has died. There’s just the everyday things like making runs to the store and checking that she’s eating and, well, stuff.

Bryan’s struggles are at an end. Susan’s will continue over the next days and weeks and our efforts on her behalf will be supportive but not restorative. That can only come from within. She’s a strong woman but life can overwhelm even the hardy.

So, what to do?

Here’s my request of you:

Turn to a loved one or even a stranger who is having a tough time and lend them some of your….what? Love? Fortitude? Wisdom? Any or all of these and more?

And if the person having the tough time is yourself, know that we care. Reach out. And borrow something from that caring.

We truly are all in this together. But only if we care to be.