Not all wedgies are funny

So, I read on the Internet, that magical  repository and purveyor of all things inexplicable, about this punk who does assaultive things to people and then posts videos of his activities on the Net. Hugging strangers  or doing walkovers on trees wearing only tighty whities may not be all that bad. But kissing women he doesn’t know when they’re asleep on the beach is more than a bit sketchy.

Jumping on a stranger’s back while wearing a bunny costume may seem harmless and funny until you think about the feeling you’d have if you were the unsuspecting jumpee. And particularly if you had a back problem. Or for that matter, a fear of six foot bunnies (would that be Harveyphobia?).

But this latest thing I hope we can all agree should earn him some jail time. He lurked outside a local theatre and came up behind – literally behind, in this case – his intended victims and gave them wedgies.

And not just regular wedgies or even Atomic Wedgies. If I understand the media reports and embedded witness statements, these were full-blown Schroeders. For the uninitiated, a Schroeder is to a wedgy as a nuclear weapon is to a firecracker. We’re talking potential for permanent damage here.

I’m glad the jerk was arrested for battery. He should be. And his punishment should be commensurate with the crime. I guess that makes me something of a grump in some eyes. So be it. He’s victimizing strangers with his sophomoric pranks and making them the butt of cyber jokes. This is bullying in wholesale.

This kid's pranks and the thousands of followers of his postings play into the degradation of civility that’s a feature of the new culture. I hope he outgrows it. Alternatively, I hope the cameras are running when he fails to notice the mammoth, unamused husband or boyfriend a few feet away from his next victim.

There is hope for him, by the way. In a video interview after his arrest, he allowed as how his arrest was warranted and perhaps in future he’d try to concentrate on jokes with himself as the prankee. Perhaps he’ll glean some personal growth out of this.

The real tragedy is my realization of how jaded I’ve become. Because, while I won’t look him up on the Web, I do have to admit to a bit of curiosity. And that’s just wrong.