Be careful what you ask for

I have a number of friends who are really good writers and even more who are thoughtful readers. So naturally, as I write my book, I selfishly consider how to put this resource to good use - which of them might be helpful, editorially speaking.

There are a few I’ve asked to accept my submission set (Prologue plus five) as readers and to give me their thoughts as to whether this thing is AKC-ready or just a dog. Another group I will ask to read the full manuscript when it’s finished (April? May? Twelfth of Never?) and provide me with any feedback they consider appropriate.

One might think that letting folks see the initial chapters would be scary but actually, not so much. These are old friends who know me and my writing and I trust them to be gentle but firm and besides, I’ve been at this exposed writing thing long enough to have reasonably thick skin. ‘Reasonably’ being a key word here.

Then there’s the group I will invite to read the manuscript through once it’s finished. That will be a scary time for me since at that point, I’ll have the work essentially ‘done’ in my own mind and it will be disappointing if one or more of them is less than impressed. Still, I think I’ll be okay with whatever they say because acceptance or rejection is a part of the gig with which I’ve had long experience, including previous book length disasters.

No, I don’t think my stable of test readers will crush my soul even if they do ultimately express something other than breathless admiration at my work.

The one that scares me most is the friend who is serving as my live reviewer/mentor/editor during the actual writing process. I was afraid to ask her, afraid to submit to her, afraid to open her first responses. She is a longtime friend and a truly gifted writer and thoughtful and gentle. Also, direct and honest and intelligent, which I suppose are the parts I feared.

I was being silly, I guess. Frightened of shadows.

So far, I’ve found the experience of allowing a trusted someone to peer over my shoulder to be liberating. In the process of opening up my writer’s soul, I’ve found validation and truth and acceptance.

She has already caught me out on a couple of really rookie errors and exposed some of my conceits and now she says she’s going to re-read and dig deeper. Deeper? That wasn’t deep?!?

Oh, (expletive deleted)!

I have a feeling the ride will get bumpier before it gets smoother. Especially because I failed to heed the thinly veiled warning when I asked her for this great favor and she sent me an email that said, paraphrasing here, Be. Careful. What. You. Ask. For.

I asked for it.

And she’s delivering.

And between us, I’m eating it up (but please don’t tell her).