Slow down, calm down, put it over

These are the words I would breathe to myself when Daughter Two came up to serve during her high school volleyball games.

“Slow down, calm down, put it over.” It became a mantra for me as Volleyball Dad, so much so that when I was officiating as a line judge, I had to remind myself NOT to offer her any aid, even of the mind meld variety. I mean, even if you don’t believe in the power of positive thinking we can accept that if I’m in ‘supportive dad’ mode I might fail to notice a foot fault. (Not to worry, the first foot fault I ever called was against – you guessed it – Two.) So I was careful to leave the mantra behind when I picked up the flags.

When I wasn’t line judging, I would chant this simple phrase just as she addressed the ball and lined up, every time she served. Can’t say it helped but it would be difficult to prove that it hurt. Her record of successful serves offers no clue to the validity of my method. But as I say, what could it hurt?

As I write this, Daughter One is going through a job interview, one that she really wants to have go well and concerning which Mary reports she was a bundle of nerves when they chatted this a.m. And just before I started typing this, I found myself facing east-southeast and silently exhorting her to – you guessed it – slow, down, calm down, and put it over. From 2,600 miles away.

I don’t believe in a supreme being of any description, the idea of poltergeists fails to faze me and I consider psychics, mediums and channelers to be charlatans, one and all. Penn and Teller are among my favorite entertainers but as they themselves will tell you, even their act is all flim flam. Really, really good flim flam, entertaining flim flam but flim flam, nonetheless.

So, being a guy who does not go in for ethereal imponderables, why on earth do I find myself earnestly offering long-distance thought coaching to Daughter One?

Because I can. And at the moment, it’s the only ‘can’ open to me.

You go, girl! Slow down, calm down, put it over.

Bubba’s thinking of you.