The bachelor...again

Mary left for Florida this morning, taking her turn as her mother’s caregiver.

There was a time when extended families lived in the same city or even the same house. Elders took a hand in the raising of children and children in turn provided for the needs and security of their elderly parents. It was a good system for the most part, one that provided both succor and continuity.

It’s been a long time since families lived in the same row house or apartment building or tenement. It’s been awhile since most families even lived in the same city.  Mary’s is bi-coastal so it’s no small matter to arrange for visits, much less an ongoing caretaking arrangement.

They make it work.

Many the argument – er, discussion – has taken place among the sibs over the last few years as it became clear that their mother was going to have needs beyond what she could provide for herself. They haven’t always agreed except on one thing – their mother would never be left to fend for herself or forced to choose between dignity and survival.

So, once again I find myself largely alone for the next month. Mary will be with her mom. And since Daughter Two is in Chicago and Daughter One has, you know, her own life, I will be largely alone.

And it sucks.

And it’s okay.

Because this is what Mary needs to do. It’s what a family does.