More about stuff

Many moons ago, when Daughter One and also Daughter Two were small, our house was burgled. It was a traumatic experience that made us feel violated just like in the books and movies. The worst part was the few things they took that were irreplaceable. Mary’s name necklace from her grandmother. I think that was the big thing.

I hope we’re never burgled again but if we are, I’m hoping that the burglar’s shopping list at least roughly parallels my list of stuff that’s sitting around here gathering dust:

·         DVDs of movies we didn’t like the first time;

·         About half of our Christmas CDs;

·         All the underwear that no longer fits my ample caboose;

·         Speaking of clothes, tees that fit the mid-twenties me;

·         Our old, old silverware;

·         Half of what’s in the downstairs closet, and I don’t care which half;

·         Every single thing that we bought on sale, thinking we’d need them someday and then never did;

·         The countertop appliances we don’t use;

·         Half of my coats, but I get to pick which half;

·         The nastiest eight of the dogs’ chew toys;

·         The two-thirds of our board games that no one ever plays;

·         All the out of focus photos, which is to say, the ones I took;

·         The broken shovel that even I don’t know why I kept;

·         The small dog (DO NOT tell Daughter One);

·         About nine of the dog leashes;

·         Speaking of dogs, Sam’s ashes – I still love that mutt and I think he’d get a hoot out of some low life opening the beautiful box to find a bag of ashes and bone chips;

·         The old barbecue;

·         The electric car that we got from a garage sale and which Daughter One played with precisely once;

·         The box of tuna helper that’s so old, neither of us will admit to ever having purchased it;

·         All the dandelions they can carry.

They should be able to get a good garage sale out of this much stuff. Chances are, we wouldn’t even press charges.