Okay. Not that I’m bitter or anything but if you call
shotgun and occupy the front passenger seat, the position carries with it certain
responsibilities. I wouldn’t have thought this was necessary but, well…
1.
Whensoever thy driver is trying to clear right
for a left turn, shalt thou keep thy head back and still.
2.
If thy car stops at a house for sale, thou shalt
hop out and grab the flier.
3.
Once yon flier is in hand, hasten thine butt back
to thy car before reading it.
4.
Never shalt thou change the music without
permission.
5.
Thou shalt not suffer thine driver’s sodas to
remain unopened, nor shall the cap be allowed to stray under the driver’s foot.
6.
Neither a leaner nor a gum popper shalt thou be.
7.
Thou shalt not suffer thy feet to rest upon the
dashboard.
8.
The fast food wrappers shalt thou gather and
desposeth of them in the back seat.
9.
Thou shalt not covet thy driver’s atmosphere
controls.
And verily, if no other rule shalt thou
abide…abide thou this:
10.
Whither thou passeth gaseous annoyances, thine
window shalt thou lower. Quickly.
Number 10 on my copy doth read: Shotgun shalt refrain from nary an utterance of disdain for driver's turns, lack of turns, stops or starts. Prithee thou trow not tallt thyself nor thy driving expertise. Keepest thou negative comments in thy head.
ReplyDeleteUm, okay....
ReplyDelete