Utterances to avoid on Thanksgiving Day

I’ll hold your hair for you.

No, I LIKE my turkey rare.

This is almost as good as my Mom used to make it!

Um, what is this again?

I’ll do the dishes.

It’s alright – he yakked it up!

Was I supposed to pull out the little bag before I cooked the turkey?

Hey, at least the dog’s happy!

I’ve never seen one actually explode like that…

And my all-time favorite, uttered innocently as your spouse’s expression heads south, “No, was I supposed to?”