A little insight into the minds of men

One of you recently posted a link on a social network which purports to offer a view into the minds of men. It’s titled The One Thing All Men Feel But Never Admit.  

(Note to poster: I love you, always have and always will. More than that, I respect you probably more than you’ll ever know. If you were an idiot or a stranger, I could let this pass. But you and your thoughts are too important to me to let this one slide.)

The piece is chockablock with unsupported assertions and downright untruths. Ludicrous assertions and hateful untruths.

Between trumpeting that “every single boy growing up in the United States has heard these phrases at least once over the course of his life” and “although men are dying to speak, they are taught to stay silent,” we are supposed to understand and accept that all American males grew up living in fear of being taunted as less than manly.

Hmm.

Why is it misogyny when a male makes a sweeping generalization about women but “insight” when the shoe’s on the other foot?

I’m not sure just how gullible (or inappropriately judgmental?) you need to be to accept the outrageous blather that “most men grow up in toxic environments where they are encouraged to repress their emotions (and) express power through dominance.” Many males are so raised, and to their detriment, I agree. But the gulf between many and most is wide and deep and it’s into this chasm of illogic that both the writer of the article and the director of the film project have apparently blithely leapt.

Through my work I am regularly required to take part in “diversity” training and that would be a positive thing if diversity as understood by the leaders of the effort was driven by a desire to be inclusive. Basically, as an older white male, I am given to understand that diversity means hanging my head in abject apology to the myriad demographics toward which members of my demographic have acted badly through the centuries.

I am the accepted, standard bad guy. I get it. Mea maxima culpa. Now, can we please move on?

In order to believe that all men are homophobic, domineering bullies because of their toxic upbringing, one must first accept the premise that all men are in fact homophobic, domineering bullies. If you know me well and still believe this, then at least one of us is delusional.

Bigotry is bigotry. And not all bigots are balding, sweaty, pink-faced white male Southerners or towel-headed Allah-worshiping terrorists. Some of them are film directors and writers of Internet appeals.

 Jennifer Siebel Newsom should not look for my donation to her project any time soon.

And by the bye, while we’re on the topic of talking about how awful men are (this is the thinly veiled sub-text of this whole thing, after all), perhaps we should remember that it was overwhelmingly white, middle-aged males who voted to grant women the voting franchise in the United States. This country – along with many others – has a horrible history of subjugating identifiable demographics, women included, and the men of yesteryear have much to answer for, were they not already silenced by time. But the continued slamming of men intentionally overlooks an obvious truth: men are no more homogenous in their upbringing and attitudes than are women, gays or store clerks. And a ‘researcher’ who denies this is no researcher at all.