Reinventing Myself as a Jock

So, it looks like I have a torn rotator cuff – whoohoo!  Now, it’s not fer sher until I go see the orthopedist and he confirms it with imaging. But Dr. Anne did some pain, strength and range of motion work and it’s lookin’ good! Yeah!

It matters not one whit that I actually injured the wing lifting the rain roof back onto the dog run during storm repairs.  What does matter is that shoulder injuries including rotator cuff strains and tears are among the most common kayaking injuries. And I am a kayaker, as I’ve already established through internet postings galore.

See where this is going? After 57 years of being a nerd, suddenly I’ll be a bonafide athlete! And soon, with any luck, I’ll have a really ugly surgical scar to nail down my new persona! I’ll be right up there with gymnasts and major league pitchers. And – get this – the ortho doc I’m going to works through a sports medicine clinic. I wonder how many business cards they’ll let me take?

Cross your fingers for me that this won’t be resolved through long and painful physical therapy that leaves no marks. Why do the pain if you don’t get the gain, I always say.

I am SO going to buy some muscle shirts and ratty thrift shop sweats and start scratching my nether regions at inappropriate times.  And maybe change my sunglasses for cool shades. Oh, the places I’ll go…